Aaarrghh! And ye will be wanting to be boarding without exact doubloons, aye? The Bus Pirates just might have a wee bone to pick with ye!

Filmmakers James Plaxton, Dave Lindsay, Ben Soper, and Tyler Soper cite that in making Bus Pirates, they "sought to construct a metaphor illustrating the plight of the Los Angeles public transit system" and sure, we'll toss 'em that gnarly bone, but mostly you should watch this first (of two) Bus Pirates installment because pirate humor rarely, if ever, fails to be really, really awesome. Especially when there's singing. On public transportation.

Gilbert & Sullivan — hold on to your booty, 'cause the Bus Pirates are about to plunder it.

In heaven, everything is fine. Plus, like, there's really good cable.

So you're lounging in your cabana and sipping Mai Tais and having a great time being dead and and everything (because hey - no hangovers!), and your loser ex-boyfriend builds a machine to bring you back to Earth because he's all lonely on his lumpy, smelly futon at night or something stupid like that.

Director Casimir Nozkowski of cryingwhileeating.com fame is of the opinion that such behavior is crap up with which one ought not put.

Allow me to apologize in advance for what I'm about to unleash upon your poor, previously badger-free brain.

Your brain is just sitting there at work, maybe school, thinking about I dunno - spreadsheets or snacks or what Tim Russert may or may not be wearing behind his newsdesk (okay - so that's just me...), and it decides to pop over and see what's happening over at your good pal Dot Comedy.

Yeah, sorry 'bout that.

Yup, that would indeed be the calesthenicizing badgers from the eponymous "Badger Badger Badger" 'toon, but mashed up all spazzy-like with a warp-speed version of Yanni's "Bananaphone" by the nice people at Lemonizer. And no, you will not be able to remove it from your aforementioned brain with anything other than bleach or an icepick. Share it with someone you'd like to see twitching.

Oh Mr. Russert...

A boy. A pastry. A hunger unslaked.

Muffinfilms.com's bakery-centric tour-de-force "Muffinless" is not just a trenchant, haunting meditation on the deep psychic toll of a muffin-deprived existence, but also a cautionary tale for the ages. Parents - feed your children well, lest they be forced to seek their morning pastries in environs most unsavory.