On the psychotically off chance that you've ever wondered what a Viral Virginia might look and/or sound and/or smell like, I can offer assistance with two outta three. Rest assured I smell like sunshine, freshly-baked steak-filled cookies, and a slight whiff of Mercurachrome.

And I sang you a little holiday song. No helium or effects involved, I promise - it's just a bizarre, Baal-given talent. Because I love you.

xoxoViral Virginia

Tod E. Kurt got his trip Roombas (Roombae?) all tweaked up and sent 'em out to spread the merry and the mazel.

Joyeux Noel.

Rob Paravonian has suffered a lifetime of aural agony at the cruel chords of the Pachelbel Canon, and he'd like to let you in on a little secret - you have, too.

Okay, no - it's not a video, but it occurred to me tonight as I was flaying drifters for my own sexual gratification that prolly not everyone in the webiverse has been introduced to the aural ecstasy that is Silence!, so here ya go.

Mazel. And don't forget the lotion.

Maybe something got lost in translation, but those three guys aren't seeming so all-fired wise on the holiday gifting front. Myrrh? Not so much. And what the Frank? But I'll give 'em this - they proved their mettle with the gold.

Coach has this Troop's balls on a short leash, but will a strong-slapping drifter be able to bust the tether?

Thin may be in, but Chunky Pam's gotta lotta where it's at. This curvaceous Christmas cutie is pretty damned sure you'll be liking how she's stuffing her stockings.

Seems Santa's outsourcing the present schleppery this year, and one sharp-shooting elf is dead set on getting everything delivered on time. (Click above to play.)

The good people of The Cupid Players have erected a veritable pubic library, and you're invited to check out anything in their stacks.

That any of us managed to survive the year without personally getting shot/high/groped/IMed by an elected official is coup enough. That someone managed to make delightful tunage about it is just gravy.