According to "left"-leaning, pro-regulatory "natural phenomenon reporting" website weather.com, Hurrican Gabrielle is weakening and heading away!

Well, what a surprise there!

You know this wouldn't have happened if the hurricane had been named, as it and all powerful storms should always be named--after the more powerful of the human gender, Man--HURRICANE GABRIEL! Why? Because the name Gabrielle is the feminine version of GABRIEL, a Biblical name. Remember that in the Bible, GABRIEL is known as God's left-hand, an arch angel who delivered messages and death to earthly dwellers! Gabriel delivered DEATH, people! Not curtains! Not faberge eggs! Not tips on how to beat bath-tub mould! All of which are jobs for a woman, say, maybe one named GABRIELLE!

All I am saying is that, if the hurricane had been named GABRIEL, the Lord's munificence would have delivered the coast of North Carolina from the peaceful resolution it wound up with and put that foul, besmirched, near-Yankee state to the divine test of God's wrath, the cleansing gale-force winds of His love! It is only through trial and suffering that we grow! Therefore, the more suffering we receive, the more we are loved by God! Unless you are gay. And then, any suffering you receive is your own fault! You all know my position on the homosexual agenda and I'm not talking about their 2:30 appointment for a facial! HAR!

What's worse, Hurricane Gabrielle is now a Tropical Depression. Well well well, do we need more evidence!? The metaphor is perfect, for as women grow older they too fall into frequent depressions. Case in point, every woman that has ever had any major role in my life has suffered from near-constant and severe depressions! Several have attempted suicide! Either that or they've subIimated their concerns and projetced their own self hatred onto others... as a woman should!

I know I don't need to say it for this audience, but please, if you have any pull with those secular meteorological loonies, please beg them to remember that destruction is a man's work, not a woman's! So unless future hurricanes will be delivering interior design secrets and fresh-cooked rhubarb pie (my mouth is already watering!), then hurricanes should always be named after a man!

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